Don’t mind me…I’m just thinking about how spiders are naturally talented and skilled weavers and they know how to weave their webs and even make functional, stylish homes and nests and whatnot.
So maybe that’s why Spider-Man knows how to sew his suits. He inherited that trait from the spider and just instinctively know how to weave his suits. Maybe. That’s my explanation for it.
Aunt May: You’re buying an awful lot of yarn lately. Are you making something?
Peter, who after getting bit by a spider has felt an inescapable need to knit and now his room is covered head to toe in yarn: Nope. It’s just new hobby.
yknow what. i complained a lot about how it was unrealistic to suddenly know how to put together stretch knits and a perfectly fitting, absolute banger of a suit, but this is an explanation i’ll gladly accept
wish i had a bit going where whenever i said “the prophecy” like three of my friends would repeat “the prophecy” in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player
okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world
be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it.
okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right
first:
the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!!
how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp
“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!”
“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.”
i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits
second:
my friend group echoes. a lot
someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!”
often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental”
ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding
i am not going to be thwarted again
my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me
“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!”
“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult
and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides”
two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say
and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around
which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards
I’ve got these two sewing machines, made about 100 years apart. An old treadle machine from around 1920-1930, that I pulled out of the trash on a rainy day, and a new Brother sewing machine from around 2020.
I’ve always known planned obsolescence was a thing, but I never knew just how insidious it was till I started looking at these two side by side.
I wasn’t feeling hopeful at first that I’d actually be able to fix the old one, I found it in the trash at 2 am in a thunderstorm. It was rusty, dusty, soggy, squeaky, missing parts, and 100 years old.
How do you even find specialized parts 100 years later? Well, easily, it turns out. The manufacturers at the time didn’t just make parts backwards compatible to be consistent across the years, but also interchangeable across brands! Imagine that today, being able to grab a part from an old iPhone to fix your Android.
Anyway, 6 months into having them both, I can confidently say that my busted up trash machine is far better than my new one, or any consumer-grade sewing machine on the market.
Old Machine Guts
The old machine? Can sew through a pile of leather thicker than my fingers like it’s nothing. (it’s actually terrifying and I treat it like a power tool - I’ll never sew drunk on that thing because I’m genuinely afraid it’d sew through a finger!) At high speeds, it’s well balanced and doesn’t shake. The parts are all metal, attached by standard flathead screws, designed to be simple and strong, and easily reachable behind large access doors. The tools I need to work on it? A screwdriver and oil. Lost my screwdriver? That’s OK, a knife works too.
New Machine Guts
The new machine’s skipping stitches now that the plastic parts are starting to wear out. It’s always throwing software errors, and it damn near shakes itself apart at top speed. Look at it’s innards - I could barely fit a boriscope camera that’s about as thick as spaghetti in there let alone my fingers. Very little is attached with standard screws.
And it’s infuriating. I’m an engineer - there’s no damn reason to make high-wear parts out of plastic. Or put them in places they can’t be reached to replace. There’s no reason to make your mechanism so unbalanced it’s reaching the point of failure before reaching it’s own design speed. (Oh yeah there is, it’s corporate greed)
100 years, and your standard home sewing machine has gone from a beast of a machine that can be pulled out of the literal waterlogged trash and repaired - to a machine that eats itself if you sew anything but delicate fast-fashion fabrics that are also designed to fall apart in a few years.
Looking for something modern built to the standard that was set 100 years ago? I’d be looking at industrial machines that are going for thousands of dollars… Used on craigslist. I don’t even want to know what they’d cost new.
We have the technology and knowledge to manufacture “old” sewing machines still. Hell, even better, sewing machines with the mechanical design quality of the old ones, but with more modern features. It would be so easy - at a technical level to start building things well again. Hell, it’s easier to fabricate something sturdy than engineer something to fail at just the right time. (I have half a mind to see if any of my meche friends with machine shops want to help me fabricate an actually good modern machine lol)
We need to push for right-to-repair laws, and legislation against planned obsolescence. Because it’s honestly shocking how corporate greed has downright sabotaged good design. They’re selling us utter shit, and expecting us to come back for more every financial quarter? I’m over it.
The NHL will not allow teams to wear “cause-based” jerseys next season, the league confirmed on Thursday.
The league’s Board of Governors agreed with Commissioner Gary Bettman’s view that the refusals overshadowed teams’ efforts in hosting Pride nights that in some cases included auctioning off the warmup jerseys. All 32 teams held Pride or Hockey is for Everyone night.
Teams will still celebrate Pride and other theme nights, including military appreciation and Hockey Fights Cancer. They’re also expected to still design and produce jerseys to be autographed and sold to raise money, even though players won’t skate around with them on during warmups.
Pride jerseys became a hot-button issue in the league last season after multiple players refused to wear them during warmups.
omg can we please stop catering to the whiny babies who refuse to wear a shirt with a fucking rainbow on it because someone might think they believed in equality for all persons.
im so fucking tired of organizations kowtowing to the bigots. suspend players who are dickweeds. tell the assholes they don’t belong. make hockey unsafe for prejudice.
Six players refused to wear pride jerseys this season. Some teams cancelled Pride Night completely as a result, others just didn’t let the players participate in warmups. And while I certainly don’t like players just being able to opt out of these events, it’s certainly better than canceling the night as a whole, and I understand why Russian players with family in Russia are sometimes hesitant to wear them.
But Gary Bettman and the board of governors decided to completely do away with all warmup jerseys. They’ll still have Pride Night, Indigenous Heritage Night, Hockey Fights Cancer Night, they just won’t have the special jerseys for warmups.
These jerseys were designed by local artists, and always auctioned off, with the proceeds going to local charities who support the specific night’s cause.
I’m just so furious and devastated that Gary let six players’ feelings be more important than the amount of good that came from these nights and auctions.
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